Atelophobia
Ateles (ἀτελής) "imperfect" , "incomplete" , "unfinished".
Phóbos (φόβος) "fear" , "dread".(n.) : The quiet fear of not being good enough, where even small imperfections feel heavier than they truly are.
Mihael Keehl AKA ' Mello '
Date Of Birth: December 13, 1989
Date Of Death: January 26, 2010
Height: 171cm
Weight: 52kg
Blood Type: A
Likes: Chocolate
Dislikes: People who are better than him
⸻ Adult version (@ChocoGenius)Independent, heavy AU based portrayal; semi - lit ; adult muse ; open to plot & write non / canon scenarios
Single ship preferred & very selective (both writer and character MUST be adults.)⸻ Owner of a black kitten named Shadow⸻ Heavily addicted to chocolate, with a preference for Lindt Excellence Dark chocolateMain AU:
— In a relationship with Mail Jeevas.— Older brother of Nate River. & member of the SPKClick here to listen his playlistDisclaimer:My portrayal contains heavy topics & dark themes, including how the time spent around Mafia influenced Mello's personality and behaviours. His tender side is a huge exception shown & reserved only for the ones he cherishes and wants to protect. For most of the time expect him to be rude, violent and completely unhinged. I'm always willing to discuss boundaries, though. He's going to be brutally explicit (in many scenarios) without holding back. I'm still going to 'censor' explicit contents written on public posts as much as possible.
⸻ Child version (@HeirInShadows)Independent, semi canon / AU portrayal; semi - lit ; child muse ; open to plot & write non / canon scenarios⸻ Portrayal goes from his Wammy's years to the following stage of his life⸻ Depending on the written scenario, his age varies from 13 to 17⸻ He struggles with a huge inner complex: part of him is mad at Near but he'd be happier if there was no competition between them⸻ Matt is his best friend; he still can't properly understand if he has a crush on him or not⸻ Child Mello adores L. He's his mentor and biggest inspiration, until the day he passes away. That's when his admiration crumbles completely
Hi there, I'm Lila! She / Her, 25+!
When I write, I let my favourite novels, paintings and many artists influence my creative process! Expect some chaos!English is not my first language but I'm here to learn and improve it! In case my writing doesn't make sense please let me know, I'm fine with rewriting a specific thread!I'm mostly busy, I'll still respond whenever possible! Longer threads might take some time, sometimes I wait for the right idea to click before responding!My DMs are always open!
This section will focus on the character development of my Mello, the solos, his relationships and the media I get the inspiration from!
The inner transformation inspired by the novels of Elena Ferrante
The word smarginatura (translated as 'dissolved margins') is a key concept that runs through Elena Ferrante's four novels 'The Neapolitan Novels', My Brilliant Friend. Raffaella 'Lina (Lila)' Cerullo first introduces the reader to the concept of smarginatura during the last day of 1958, during a dissociative episode affecting her physically and mentally in which, as she herself will explain throughout the four novels, the invisible outlines that hold up things and people shatters, colliding with the reality of facts, shedding upon herself and the reader the raw essence of who and what surrounds her.This concept merges with my portrayal of Mello starting from the core of his journey: the reality of a life closely tied to mafia and crime, combined with the desperate race to prove himself to be the number one, begins to falter when he realizes that not only does it not lead to the result he seeks at all costs, but rather consumes him completely as a human being. Mello starts to react to this event in a way he's never experienced before: he feels physically dissociated from who he is, nausea, confusion, dizziness, he feels sick, he sees as external viewer the violent life in which he denied and suppressed a legitimate glimmer of normalcy and sincere connections. He begins to reflect on the entire journey he's made so far, on his past, on the day he left the orphanage, sensing within him a growing desire to change things. The invisible outlines are symbolically represented by a strong thread that suffocates his feelings and the most human sides of himself, a defense mechanism that breaks when he is faced with the realization that he can no longer suppress what he feels and has tried to silence all his life. This event will subsequently lead to a gradual collapse of the defensive wall Mello has built, where he will discover and allow himself the opportunity to listen and discover new dreams, passions, and lifelong bonds.The transition introduces Mello to a new challenge: to live like a normal guy his age, not a programmed bit obsessed with capturing Kira, who has no qualms about considering other people as lifeless puppets with no real meaning in his existence. He will finally be ready to make room for those unspoken feelings and sincere connections.